Co-worker: Hey buddy, can I have your last push pin there.

Me: [huddles secretly over the pin dish for a second and then dramatically turns around] Sure buddy, go ahead and take it…

Sarah: Good god, don’t ask him for the stapler.

A spot of tea… For my nose…

My new T-Mobile Shadow smartphone thought a soft salmon pink was the perfect lighting conditions for this picture, so I went with it and sepiafied the hell out of it.

What you should notice on this third day after the surgery is that scrunched, tense look in my eyes. That’s three days of fitful sleeping. Pretty much the only way to sleep when both nostrils are completely clogged up. Add to that a nice dull, continuous headache and there you go.

Those are silicon tubes hanging out of my nose. They’re called splints, look like clear banana slugs, and are supposed to help the cartilage remember its new position. Mostly, they feel like they are just applying direct pressure to my brain. I was suffering through them as I thought I was getting them out today. Appears Sarah misheard the doctor and he just wanted me to call and schedule an appointment for today. They will come out on Wednesday.

It was after that call that I couldn’t take it and “cheated”. Not too bad though - Afrin can be used for control of light bleeding - just shoot a spray or two up there as needed. I’m really supposed to be shooting saline up their regularly though to keep the area moist. However, moist leads to a complete lack of air movement. So I cheated and put a few shots of afrin up the nostrils and tubes. It did me wonders and probably got me sanely through the day today.

So, next report on Wednesday, after the banana slugs come out…

[additions: i’m done with demerol.  corner-of-the-eye hallucinations and being unable to urinate are bad things. first solid food today was a painful experience - it appears the weight of my nose assists in chewing..] 

I was bored today, so I went and got major surgery.

Okay, not really. Might seem like that to you blog readers, though, as I went from injecting liquid calcium in my nose to this. Just haven’t been in a posting mood.

So, to catch everyone up. The injections had no effect, I was still left with between 0%-5% breathing capacity in each nostril. I ended up opting for the surgery.

And yes, I was scared shitless this morning as I walked into the hospital. Luckily everyone was extremely helpful, and seemed genuinely caring of my needs. I can easily say the most painful thing of the surgery was the local anesthetic they gave me in my hand before putting in my IV.

I remember nothing other than moving myself from the gurney to operating table. I was on the table for about 15 seconds and then I woke up in the recovery area.

The pain is actually quite minimal. The toughest thing I had to deal with so far is a sore throat from being intubated. That’s already clearing up though. Bleeding was to be expected, but has already reduced to almost nothing. I have two plastic splints in each nostril that I will have removed on Monday.

So, it seems like a total success - I’m already breathing freely through it [update: that lasted all of thirty minutes.  See my next post.]. As a bonus, I swear my nose actually looks a little better after the re-aligning of the cartilage. I’ll post some before and after pictures next week..

My nose currently looks even more bulbous than normal today. I bit the bullet and went to an E.N.T. doctor about my increasing difficulty at breathing through my nose.

Found out my deviated septum (very old fist meeting nose injury) is only partly to blame. I have “droopy” flaps in my nose that are leaning against the bent septum and causing a fair amount of blockage.

I agreed to an experimental procedure today that reinforces the nose in a way similar to an internal breathe-right strip using an injectable calcium formula called Radiesse. It was a simple 15 minute procedure that injected the filler into my nose. I have a few decent bumps from the injections that should smooth out in a week or two.

I’ll return to the Doc in four weeks and decide if the procedure helped enough to call it a success. If not, I’ll schedule a full septoplasty that includes a “shaving” of those problem flaps.

Sarah: Just for the record, ’twas not my fist which met the nose.